When I was pregnant with my first child, my belly button popped out. While this is a common thing with a lot of pregnant women, mine never went back to normal. I kept thinking it might be the extra weight, or that it was just a little confused like the rest of my body, adjusting to a new state of normal. But when the weight was gone my belly button still slightly resembled a ping pong ball. Okay, that may be a little exaggerated. Maybe a smooshed grape.
Turns out I had a an umbilical hernia, that I had to have surgically repaired. Why hadn't I known about this possibility beforehand? I mean I would still have gotten pregnant and had my child, but at least I could have been a little mentally prepared for the change. Of course it didn't end there. The pregnancy souvenir shop at the maternity wards are loaded with all kinds of useless and unattractive trinkets and doo hickeys. And pregnant women WILL take home some along with their newborns, like it or not.
I think when you first get pregnant, your OB should give you a chance to pick out your souvenirs. Maybe we could make some kind of deal if we negotiate it all up front.
"I'll take the stretchmarks, but only in the butt, not in the belly. If you can make that happen, I'll take an extra dose of morning sickness and a side of spider veins. And please NO HEMORRHOIDS. I'll take skin tags instead."
If the doctors were really smart, they'd offer some post child bearing services in combination with their OB practice. They could have signs in their offices that read "Have me deliver your second child and get your vericose vein treatment half off! And if you are crazy enough to come back a third time, I'll throw in some free stretchmark cream!"
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