I just can't believe we are already entering this chapter of parenting. It's so cliche, but it really does seem like just a short while ago that she was a toddler running around the house in princess shoes and my biggest worry was getting her to eat all of her chicken nuggets before she was off and running again.
These past few months have been quite a ride getting used to having a teenager in the family. She's always been an amazingly responsible person so we had little reason to worry. To some extent this is still the case. Now she's grown into a beautiful young lady, and with all the recent growth has come a strong sense of what she wants and who she is. At least what she wants and who she is today. And to a teenager, all there really ever is is today.
That's the hardest part. Knowing, and constantly reminding her, that she's not done growing up yet, even though she thinks that she is. Today she's way smarter than she ever has been in her life, but she's still got a ways to go.
Just don't tell her that.
Lately we've had to "get real" about who her friends are and where they go in their free time. Especially when she makes new friends, which it seems like she's doing every single day. The simple act of making new friends is taking on a whole new dimension.
We've also recently had to respond to requests from the school about not respecting the dress code. This I fear may never end with this child. She has always had more fashion sense than I could fathom a child her age could have. And she truly walks the line in this area.
Point in case: our recent visit to a college campus had us seeing the image of our daughter everywhere we looked, just a few inches taller and more make up on their faces. Honestly that was about the only visible difference.
What a reality check.
And I think she sees this too. She looks in the mirror and sees an almost fully grown person. On the outside that is. But what she forgets is that she's still very young, especially on the inside, compared to where she's headed down the road.
On the inside she still a little girl that needs to be nurtured, encouraged, guided, and also disciplined. Teenagers seem not to realize the simple fact that we still need to parent them. In fact recently she accused me (via text) of "supervising" her too much. HA. That's a good one.
She's just going to have to get used the new routine. What we teach her now is more important than she will realize for at least another 20 years. Discovering your mistakes and learning from them is a weekly if not daily routine as a teenager.
So now here we are trying to absorb all this into our parenting style. And it is hard to swallow.
Especially when conversations often end with "are we done?" and a march back to her room with a firm door closing.
Sigh.
I want my baby girl back.
I want to only worry about weather she eats her breakfast or drops it on the floor, or whether or not she takes her nap.
Those worries I can handle.
But, like I told her when I held her tight and gave her a big birthday hug, she's still my baby girl. She'll always be my little girl, no matter what.
So here are my birthday wishes for my new teenager.
- May you always be able to effortlessly make new friends.
- May you never forget that your "old" friends are the ones that know you best, expect the least, and will put up with the worst.
- May you always walk the line in life between being adventurous and being safe, but all the while respect the rules, even if you don't agree with them.
- May you always be open to encouragement and guidance.
- May you realize that making mistakes are an important part of life, as long as you continue to learn from them.
I love you baby girl.
