Marshmallows Anyone?

This morning my youngest daughter did her usual Tuesday routine. It's a pretty simple routine actually. It involves saying "I don't want to go to school" in response to everything we ask her to do. The plus side is she is REALLY good at expressing this feeling.

After a dozen or so reiterations of this sentiment, I feel like shutting her in her room until she's ready for prom. But alas, that would not get us to the preschool, which, as all studies indicate, would lead to her life as a high school drop out without any notion of what a prom may be.

So we struggle through. One way I have learned to get the desired behavior is by offering a reward. When I was working as a therapist and social worker with foster children, I had a foster parent tell me that developing a 'reward chart' and offering stickers and treats as positive reinforcement was bribery. And she used a capital B. In fact, she was a capital B, but that's another story.

My response was this: if you were to take orders all day from an authority figure, like, say, a boss, you would want to be recognized for your hard work too, right? You'd not only want your pay check, but you'd want a gold star (pay raise, recognition award, title change, fill-in-the-blank) for doing a good job. So don't undermine your kids' hard work at learning and adapting to this crazy world by saying they don't deserve a little treat for doing the right thing every now and then.

Herein lie the marshmallows. When I'm trying to get out the door in the morning, and then I'm trying to peel my child off my leg at the preschool, I use the magic of marshmallows to encourage good behavior. And it works. If she goes in without a fuss she gets some mini marshmallows when I pick her up after school. And you better believe it's the first request she makes. Quickly followed by a statement like "I had sooo much fun at school today".

Could this be considered bribery? Perhaps. Does it work? Definitely. Will I be arriving at the high school after her first day on campus with a little green cup filled with mini marshmallows? Let's hope not.