Life's Simple Pleasures

Yet again I am reminded to buy more Mega Millions lottery tickets. Because even though the best things in life are pretty simple - spending time with friends and family being number one on the list - they don't always come free. Or cheap.

There is just no replacement for good friends and family. And since some of ours aren't nearby, we'd need to win some sort of small fortune to be able fly our family of five out to see them as often as we'd like.

Last weekend we returned from our summer vacation and ran smack dab into back-to-school week. So I apologize for being off-line for so long; it's not my preference, but it is a necessity at times. I have had to resist the urge to sit at the computer and chew through several hours, doing things like blogging, so that I can use that precious time to gear our family up for the new school year.

Two weeks ago we started the trip off with the suburbs of Philadelphia where my husband's parents both grew up, and subsequently it's the land of aunts and uncles. And all of them are Italian. Which means we heard rounds of "you're so skinny!" to my husband from all his doting aunts, who to this day probably think all we keep in our kitchen is a bottle of ketchup and hence I am depriving him of home-cooked meals.

So they proceed to try to make up for it all in one night. No kidding. The amount of food that went through the kitchen in one night was astounding. Not to mention the amount of people. Three aunts, an uncle, and multitudes of cousins, second cousins, and friends. And it was all wonderful; the abundance of food and family mixed together to create this amazing sense of security and warmth.

It really struck me on this trip just how important my husband's family is to him. It was a joy to watch them all swoon over him and our kids. Those Italian folks in the Philly area are some really good people.

From there we went out to beautiful Lake Anna in Virginia. We stayed with our good friends who were wonderful hosts to our not-so-small, not-so-quiet, not-so-good-at-sleeping-in brood. They even had a built in babysitter in their oldest son; the sweetest 13 year old kid you ever did see.

Much like last year, we spent time floating around the lake with a variety of water toys. My younger daughter discovered her love of the water and honestly spent more time in a life vest than out of it over the 7 days. She'd just bob to and fro in the water, from this person to that person, and sometimes just around in circles all by herself. I think she loved the independence of it all.

The week's highlight for my oldest was playing with her friend that she reconnected with after a long year apart. They took off from the word "hello" and were never apart for the next 7 days. Her friend even inspired her to conquer her fears and get up on water skis for the first time. She made momma proud!

And our son loved going out on the boat in the middle of the lake and saying "now go swimming?" every time we stopped to change people on the wakeboard, waterskis or water tube. And indeed, we did go swimming out in the middle of the lake, everyone floating around in their life vests. Apparently he needs 40 feet of water to really have fun; he always likes to push things to the limit so I guess it should be no surprise.

Our son also mastered the word "again!" as he insisted my husband throw him up in the air over the water countless times. Unfortunately he also showed us that he has mastered the words "dammit....gah dammit...." as he muttered them right in the spot where daddy would have said them if he had been the one cleaning up a mess. But instead it was my silence that he got (after an exasperated exclamation of his name), so he decided to fill in the blanks for me and dad with the chosen "bad words". Thoughtful little guy doing daddy's work for him.

I don't think I really have to mention just how special this time was to us. We were able to reconnect with family and friends that mean so much to our little family of five. To us, it's the most meaningful and rewarding way we can spend our time.

And though a year has passed since we'd last seen our friends at their house on the lake, it seemed as if it had only been a few weeks. That's the beauty of truly great friendships; they sustain and subsist over years and miles. Even when there are so many miles that the visits become too far and few between over the years.

All in all, you can see how simple our trip was. No amusement rides. No parking lots. No email and no cell phone.

For one week this summer we were once again wire free, screen free, media free and of course, care free.

Life's simple pleasures.

A Million Bucks

Alas, another installment in the School of Mom. Sorry to keep my public waiting. Things are picking up for my business and we are leaving on vacation tomorrow. And, oh yeah, I take care of 3 kids. Enough said.

Here's on an update on our game of Sleep Survivor with our son, which has taken on some twists and turns. In the end, it's just about a sure bet that I'll be taking home the million dollars.

I wish.

At the very least I'm starting to feel like a million bucks again, now that we have some peace and quiet at night. But it didn't come easy.

The very same night that I posted that last entry about outwitting our son, he turned around and outplayed me. Here I was all smug and patting myself on the back for being "on to something" by skipping his naps and it all back-fired. He was up just about the entire night that night. We went through about 4 rounds of "go back to bed" all throughout the night. Each one lasted over 30 minutes, and I was the one handling most of it (per my insistence that I would win this thing and finally make him see the light) until my husband took over and got up with him in the wee hours of the sunrise. Needless to say, I only felt like about two cents that next day.

In fact my son and I were both a wreck. I was beside myself feeling like I had failed at every attempt so far. Never having experienced anything like this with our daughters, I finally turned to the internet. Most of the advice I came across was similar to what I was doing. The GBTB (Go Back To Bed) approach that I was so familiar with over the past 3 months. Everyone said you should be stoic and strong, and show no emotion. Are you kidding me!? At 4 in the morning when I've barely slept yet I'm really leaning more toward seriously pissed off than stoic.

Then I came across one article that said the same things, but then acknowledged that toddlers often don't have control over their actions. They are impulsive and can't contain themselves. It said don't confuse their comprehension with their ability to control themselves. While I knew this to be true, I never really applied it to our game of Sleep Survivor. And then it all clicked. You know how you just know when something is the right answer? Well that's what happened.

The article went on to say that you should consider putting one of those tents on the crib. Or put a safety gate at their door, so they can't get out of their room. While I had thought about these options before, and people had recommended it to me, I really just thought that he would learn over time by what we were doing. But clearly it wasn't happening fast enough. If at all.

However we weren't really wanting to go back to the crib. And we knew that he would just crawl right over one of those gates. So we went with the only option we knew. Switching out the doorknob for one that he couldn't open. We have those annoying door handles in our house that are like levers, and they are very easy for toddlers to use; especially to get out the front door.

Since I knew he needed a nap that day and I had no patience to deal with his crankiness, and no new doorknob yet, I decided I would just hold the handle and see what happened. At first he cried for a minute, then he went down to the floor and looked out through the crack. He could see my feet moving around and whenever he quieted down and I would walk away, he'd get up and come out of the room. So I finally put a chair there and put my feet up while I held the door shut. This maneuver proved to outwit him and after a few minutes he fell asleep at the door on the carpet and took a 2 hour nap there.

During all of this I remembered that we did this with our oldest back when she was 2 years old. She spent a week or two falling asleep at the door until she finally started going to sleep in her bed. Yet another lesson that had somehow slipped through the cracks of my mush brain.

I think I was just reluctant to use this method again, seeing as it seems sort of cruel. But it makes sense. And in the end, it's what has worked to give us all a good night's sleep.

That first night with the new doorknob he cried for less than a minute, then went to the floor and started calling "Daaaaady" over and over again. Until about a minute later when he quieted down and fell asleep at the door.

This is how it goes most nights. Occassionally he puts in there a "Mooooomy" and at times he even calls for his sisters. Thankfully it was a very pleasant voice and one we can easily overlook. Every night around 10pm my husband goes in and moves him to his bed. Those first few nights we wouldn't hear a peep from him again until around 5am, when he'd call out again, but then go back to sleep at the door until 6am when my husband would get up with him. And so it went for the first week.

Although we did have a hiccup in there a few nights into it when we went away for the weekend. The first night away he was up again all during the night. My husband ended up sleeping next to him for part of the night. But the second night he slept in his bed (after we put him back) all through the night until 6am. One step back, but two steps forward.

When we returned home, he started going to the door as usual, but then he would go back to bed and go to sleep. We even had one night when he didn't go to the door at all. But then he was back at the door a couple more nights after that, with us moving him to bed again. But every day he has been sleeping all night until after 6am without a peek out from under the door. Most mornings he even sleeps until 6:30am! That lazy boy.

And the kicker here is that he's still napping every day. Most days we are out and about and he falls asleep while in the stroller or car. But if we aren't out, I put him down for a nap at home. And he'll just go to sleep in bed without even coming to the door.

This, combined with the fact that he's in his room at 8pm every night, means that we are all getting more rest in this house.

And last night when my husband put him in his bed he once again didn't go to the door. He was sleeping nice and snug in his bed when he went to check on him.

We are definitely on to something now.

And I don't care if he's a teenager before he figures out how to use that doorknob.

As long as we are all sleeping happily ever after again.