On The Right Track

This summer has been all about flexibility. And adaptability. This summer more than any other time in recent months I have seen my kids change their minds and attitudes about so many things that I've lost track. But I'll try to recount.

For my oldest, the new attitude has been about summer camps. Until just yesterday, I had completely forgotten that she really didn't enjoy summer camp last year. Good thing I have this handy blog to remember how many kids I have, because I think I might forget that too in a few years.

I went to sign up my daughter for a couple of camp days at a gym place with her brother and sister and the woman that runs the place very nicely reminded me of her failed attempt at one day of camp last summer. Only one day and she couldn't complete it. I had to pick her up early. Oops. Totally blacked that out of my memory. Then I return home from said gym and my mom tells me about how my daughter just finished telling her that she "hated" all her summer camps last year. Hmmm. Forgot about that too.

Then it all comes flooding back to me. The struggle to say good-bye. The need to send her off to camp with some transitional object of mine. Her desire to just stay home.

Alas, this year we have seen a change of heart. I signed her up for a choir camp (to which she said "choir!?!" with a roll of her eyes when I told her it was an option for this summer). It's actually just regular old singing, plus some percussion lessons. She needs both if she wishes to pursue her career as a professional musician and singer, which is her latest aspiration. And she's really enjoying it. She even wanted to go extra early this morning so she could have more time to spend with the kids at camp.

What a change. And when I approached the subject of a couple of camp days at that gym with her brother and sister she vowed to me that this year she'd really like it.

Enough said. She's back on track.

Perhaps I didn't need to volunteer my time, and enroll my younger two kids, at the girl scout camp for two weeks at the end of July. I did so a few months ago when I met resistance about her going to the camp. So, figuring that it would just be the latest in sacrificing my sanity in the name of hers, I threw my name in the hat as a volunteer counselor.

Perhaps I was a bit too hasty with that decision. But more on that later.

Now for my younger daughter, we are finally getting her on the track - for the first time - with summer camps. She's really come out of her shell lately and amazed me with her new found confidence. She completed a week of basketball camp and by the end of the week, she was ready to sign up for another week. With or without her friend, and with our without the same team coach. Look at her just going with the flow! Who knew?

She's also gone to the athletic club kid care place a couple of times this week and never once had an issue saying good-bye or breaking down. She took it all in stride, even if she said she wasn't happy about it. And in the end she even said it "wasn't so bad".

Chalk up another huge step for the shy girl.

Now for my son's summer update. He's been a huge freak for this little gym place. He always loved to go when I had to go in the gym with him, but he was actually much more shy than most people would expect of him, given his endless energy. At various times throughout the hour he would insist on being with me to participate, and if we were asked to just watch our kids, he would usually choose to not do the activity and just stay by my side. When the spring class ended and I signed him up for the class that was for his age and required him to participate by himself, I was a bit nervous about how he'd do.

The first day of class came and he couldn't wait to go. I kept telling him that he would have to do the class all by himself like his big sister, and for the most part he seemed okay with it. But I've seen this before with my younger daughter, and I got burned by thinking all would be well.

For the summer schedule he has to watch his sister's class first, and then it is time for his class. Perhaps it was that hour of anticipation that helped him along, but when the time came for his class, he ran right in and never looked back. He did (almost) everything that the teacher asked of him, and came running out, flushed in the cheeks and proud of his accomplishments.

Now we can check that one off the list too. Not only that, but after hitting a slight bump in the road with our good-byes at the club at the end of spring (even with the "pocket treat" at the ready), we are back on track with those drop-offs too. Runs right in and doesn't look back. With the pocket treats too, of course.

This summer is really marking a time of growth for us. At long last, after eight years of parenting, we are finally seeing some signs that our kids are ready to explore the world with open minds and willing attitudes.

And, at long last, after eight years of parenting, I am welcoming the independence that is headed our way.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not ready to move my oldest into the dorm yet, but I'm starting to see down the tracks a little bit, and not just what's immediately in front of us. And I'm embracing it.

Better yet, we are beginning to feel the payoff for all the hand holding, tear drying (for them and for me) and endless comforting from their fears. Not to mention the countless sticker charts and bribery techniques that I have employed, and am still doing to this day.

Now I can sense what it will be like when we aren't holding hands any longer, but I am comforted by the fact that we will still be holding hearts.

And it goes without saying that I'll keep holding hands for as long as they let me.

Olly Olly Oxen Free

I'm coming out of hiding.

How is it that the end of the school year feels like everyone is moving out of the country and that last day of school is the day they are catching their flight?

Hurry! Hurry! Get EVERYTHING done before school gets out and we fly off to Neverland!

If you have school-aged children you know what I'm talking about. If you don't, take my word for it. The clock starts ticking louder and louder after Memorial Day, until it's deafening during the second week of June.

Everyone wants to get in their kids' birthday parties before summer, so that they can be sure their child's friends can make it and won't be on vacation for their birthday in July or August. This affects my schedule for work and play.

And every after-school activity has a "show", which is at the end of the class schedule, which of course coincides with the school year. Not to mention the end-of-season parties for sports teams as well. And then there are all the school classroom parties, teacher gifts and the like that we are coordinating or contributing towards.

And if you are lucky enough to have a child in PreK, Kindergarten, 5th grade, 8th grade or 12th grade (not to mention 16th grade), you will be attending a graduation ceremony and obligatory party.

And in our house we also have daddy's birthday, and of course our upcoming Father's Day this weekend, which requires gift-buying.

Plus, in my infinite wisdom of needing more to do around this time of year, several years ago we started the tradition of celebrating our kids' half-birthdays. Which for the girls both fall into the first two weeks of June, and require a little baking (yes, we actually make 1/2 a cake) and a small gift as well.

Even if I'm bringing on some of this myself, suffice it to say, it makes for a very busy couple of weeks.

Now that I'm mostly on the other side of the madness, I've come to a new conclusion.

I think it's the parenting world's way of preparing us for summer. Of making us actually want our kids home all day with nothing to do.

Every mother I talk to says "I'm so ready for summer!". And of course I always say "I know what you mean!". And then we compare notes about how it'll be nice not to have to pack lunches, get out the door first thing in the morning, oversee homework or drive the activity shuttle bus around in the afternoons. Not to mention our breaks from the PTA and whatever other volunteerism we've become addicted to throughout the year.

But really, are we that ready? Am I that ready?

For the past 10 months I've had very quiet mornings. And while I am very ready to give up the mid-day pick-up madness, I have to say I'll miss my two mornings a week with the house to myself.

And I have loved the structure of our days and weeks, even if a lot of it is schlepping around town. In fact I started to panic a little with the lack of structure that is upon us. I even came up with a daily and weekly schedule, that included some work time for me, which I fear may be hard to come by this summer, and also some fun play time for all of us.

I have even invented some "brown bag activities" where each kid gets a chance to pick from a bag something for us all to do at certain times during the week. Most of it is trips to local parks or museums, but at least I know it'll get us out of the house and having fun.

Of course that assumes that I'll actually remember to do it, and not let the kids sit in front of the TV for the next 60 days.

As I write this, my kids are playing video games and keeping themselves blissfully busy. And there's that small twangy voice inside my head that's saying "shouldn't I be getting my kids out of the house for some fun?".

Then the other voice, milky smooth and enticing, talks over that little one and says"there's plenty of time for that in the next 2 months".

I can guarantee you that I will not be reporting our full amount of "screen time" at every one's next doctor's visit when she asks if we are keeping it to less than an hour a day. Which, by the way, is just plain silly. A few years ago it was 2 hours per day. Now this last time we checked in it was down to one hour. What happened to that other hour? Was there a new study that came out that said I'll be raising serial killers if my kids watch that extra 60 minutes of TV everyday? I must have missed the news that night.

So I'll just keep reminding myself of what summer felt like as a kid. Do you remember yours? That sense of freedom. The ability to keep your pajamas on until noon. All the times you went running around with the neighborhood kids and played outside until it got dark out. Or went to the local swimming pool to hang out. ALL DAY. On a Wednesday.

So what if that freedom also means the ability to sit and veg out a little more too?

I'll live with the repercussions. Because really, let's think about this.

I have 3 small children in my eyesight all day. Every day. For 12 hours every day.

For 10 weeks.

Maybe I'll go back into hiding now.