I'm Not Sure I'll Ever Be Ready

Here we go again. The curiousity around tampons continues to build.

The other day I walk into my bathroom and find my daughters with mischievous looks on their faces.

"What's going on?" I ask.

My 3 year old holds up one end (yes, only one end with no string in sight) of a yellow plastic tampon applicator and asks, "What's this?"

It takes it a second to register what she is holding, and then it hits me like a box of Kotex. I panic as I think she has reached into the garbage to pluck out this little curio. Then I relax a little when I realize that my housecleaners have just left so the garbage is empty.

I ask "Where did you get that?"

"From sissy," she says.

So I ask my oldest about it and she says "I just unwrapped it. She's the one that took it apart."

My mind races. What to do, what to do? Make up something? A little white lie never hurt, right?

Then I think, okay, here's my chance to just put it out there and end the curiosity.

"This is a tampon," I say to my oldest. "Remember when you were asking me about them before? Well, this is it."

"What's it for?" she asks.

"It's for...it's a...they're for...," I stammer.

Oh Lordy. How can I explain this? There is just no way I can spin it that would not scare the begeezus out of her. Let alone her little sister that is listening in. No matter how you look at it, bleeding for 7 days from your vagina (close enough for explanation purposes) just ain't a happy topic.

I mean we just got passed the stage of putting a band aid on every injury, even those of a bloodless nature. Imagine the fright of realizing that she is headed right toward this red sea and there is no way of stopping it from happening to her, and no way to tell when it will appear and become a part of her life for many, many years. Every month, no less.

I can already hear the 2am nightmare screams from her room "Mommy! The blood was everywhere! I was dreaming about perioding!!”

Nope. There's just no way I'm ready for this conversation.

So I settle for this: "It's just something that grown up women need. And you don't need to worry about it until you are a grown up. So please just leave them alone and when you are old enough we'll talk about it. And DON'T PLAY WITH THEM AGAIN. It's not a toy."

I really don't know how I'm going to go about this when the time comes, but I guess I'll have to deal with it sometime. Just not this week.

And until then, I'll be putting that box of tampons someplace a little less obvious, starting next month.