Balancing Act

This past week has presented some new challenges for me. These challenges seem to be pulling me in different directions, so I am having to really work to maintain my balance in it all. I feel a bit like the guy we saw at the circus last week, that balances on all these rolling tubes stacked on each other. You just never know which way you'll get pulled, but you do you best to stay on your feet the whole time. Really, I think I just summed up motherhood right there.

This week for the first time ever, my oldest has voiced a strong desire not to be social. She's been at a local camp for a two week session. This is a camp hat she was at last summer and the one before, so she's familiar with it. And she's loved it every time. This year, four days into her 9-day camp, she exclaims she's done with it. Last Thursday they went on a field trip, and we all thought she was going someplace we go to a lot, but as it turns out, the event was sort of mislabeled and they went someplace different.

But where they went was not really the point. The point is more that my oldest daughter can go with the flow in almost any situation, so long as she understands all the parameters of said situation. In other words, she's a things-must-go-according-to-plan-or-I-must-be-forewarned-of-possible-detours-lest-a-meltdown-occur kind of gal.

So when this sort of detour arrived, she was not very happy. I don't know what happened at camp, but when she got home I got an earful. And a cupful of tears to go with it. Add to this unexpected surprise two little girls that seem to have taken on the role of camp bullies and you get one unhappy 7 year old. I guess these twin girls have been up to the usual elementary school mischief; calling people names, pushing them, cutting in line. Since when do we have 6 and 7 year old bullies, anyway? The drama is starting way to early these days.

After much talking I surmised that in a sense my daughter was homesick at day camp. It seems she'd much rather just hang out with me and her siblings at home, and occasionally roam the neighborhood for a playmate or two. When I proposed if she'd like camp better if one of her best friends was there in her group, she said she'd still not want to go if those "mean girls" were there.

Now don't get me started on how upset it makes me as a mother to see these girls stealing some of my child's carefree fun from her. Mama bear has her teeth bared and is ready to go tell those girls - and their mother - just where they can put that cut-in-line name-calling crap. Aarrrrgh.

But it's a waste of energy to do that, so I just day dream about it instead. And I tell my daughter - not in so few words - that we must make the best of it. The pep talks are working a little as she's having more fun this week, and she's been able to ignore the mean girls or steer clear of them so she can still have some fun. Although there were still tears showing up when it was time to go to camp yesterday. And whining today. This is just so unheard of for her.

But summer must go on.

Now on the flip side of this occasion is my younger daughter, who is now asking to spend more time out of the house. She got it in her head quite a few months ago that she wanted to try staying at her preschool all day, which includes a nap. I think a friend of hers was doing this from time to time, and most of the kids in her class are there for day care as well as preschool, so she's one of the few that leaves everyday at 12:30pm.

Well I finally decided to stop saying "someday" and we made it happen today. Right now she's at the school, seemingly refreshed from her nap, and playing for the afternoon with her friends. As she says, "it's like a play date at school". And that brings up another one of her requests; more play dates. And she wants more sleepovers too, like her big sister.

Seriously, who is this girl? I think I've gotten so used to her being so close and holding on so tight, that now that she's starting to let go I barely can get it through my head that she will really be okay if she does all these things. I don't think there will be any tears or "come pick me up right now" demands. She is telling me that she's ready and I'm starting to finally come around in believing her.

So here I am, letting one child go further down the path on her own, while the other that's been out frolicking all these years just wants to stay by my side.

As if I never noticed how totally different they are from each other. Here it is, right in my face.

Now I just need to remember how to balance in the middle to make it all work.