Have you ever tried to juggle? Personally, I tried to learn how to do it when I was a kid. But truth be told, I didn't have the patience to stick to it long enough. You are supposed to start by juggling just two balls, with one hand or two. With a little work, you can get that one down pretty easy. It's when you add that third ball that you loose track of things. Somehow it's much easier when you just have to watch two things flying through the air. Maybe it's because so many things in our lives come in pairs that it's more natural for us. You know, things like your eyes, your ears, most body parts for that matter, and romantic relationships (at least we hope). And the list goes one. Pairs are just natural; evenly distributed and symmetrical. Orderly.
You add a third anything to where there was just two and things get exponentially complicated. Unevenly distributed. Unorderly. Or should I say disorderly.
dis-or-der: a state of confusion
That makes sense. Confused, unable to keep track of it all.
As many of you might be able to testify, it is possible to learn how to juggle. It just takes time and dedication. You have to overcome the disorder and confusion.
And once you master it, going back to just two balls in the air probably seems like child's play.
That's how it is around our house. Nowadays, whenever we have just two kids around we feel as if we are having some kind of mini-vacation. Even my babysitters have noticed this effect. So it's not just us crazy parents that feel this phenomenon.
On Thursday night this week my mom had my younger daughter over for a sleepover. She's been doing this from time to time as the girls have gotten to that age where they are comfortable being away from us and look forward to special time with their grandmother. And being away from their siblings.
The girls have also had times when they have both slept over at their grammy and grandpa's house. At those times we are left with just our son to look after. That's no longer child's play; that's baby's play.
We've also had more occurrences lately when my oldest has been away from the house for several hours at a time. She's getting to that age when she enjoys being with her friends as much as possible, so when she's invited over, she goes without abandon and will stay as long as the invitation is open. Of course the parents of her friends are also benefitting as she helps keep their child very happy and busy. And often times these extended play dates become really extended and turn into a sleepover. Again, we are left with only two kids to entertain and care for in times like this.
It never fails that whenever these events happen, my husband and I somehow feel liberated. Even when we still have two kids to take care of, it seems like something we can handle in our sleep. Or single-handedly. So without fail during these times, we will take turns sort of "checking out" of the parenting and letting the other one handle the two kids. We've never really coordinated this effort, it's just sort of what happens. We just think "s/he can handle the two kids for a while...no big deal". Since really that's what we are doing most of the time anyway. Taking turns with one of us handling two kids and the other has the third. Without the third child taking up that other slot, it's like a little vacation time that we get to swap back and forth.
There's also another aspect that makes things easier during this time. The two kids that are left at home get along better. There is no longer that third coming in and competing for attention or trying to upset a happy duo.
Now all of this is not to say that you shouldn't have a third child. Or that we shouldn't have had a third child.
It's just to say that it takes a lot of time and patience to master it. Just like juggling, when you have three balls in the air, it's easy to become confused and hard to keep track of them all. If you take your eyes off one for just a second, you are likely to drop it. So to prevent that you have to be on your toes at all times. There aren't too many breaks that you can take while you are juggling three balls.
With hard work and dedication, you can make it happen. The rhythm can be found if you are patient enough. And even with all the confusion and chaos, it's fun. It's fun to watch and fun to be a part of.
And tiring.
And demanding.
But did I mention that it's also fun?
It is. I promise.
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