Here We Go Loopty Loo

Today was a roller coaster of a day. I guess when you are feeling stretched to your limits and in the midst of some serious PMS you have to suffer through the peaks and valleys of emotions.

Lately my husband and I have been saying that we need to get our family out doing more things. We shied off of that a bit when we added a third VERY active child to the family. We have been thinking that maybe it's easier if we all have something fun to do and look at instead of sitting around the house mediating sibling battles and cleaning up messes.

That being said, a month or two ago I signed my oldest up for a Girl Scout outing to the Oakland Zoo. I thought it sounded like fun at the time since we'd never been there before and I'd heard good things about it. At the time I was worried about the weather, but little did I know that we'd have such a beautiful day. So, putting to work the new motto of getting out more often, we head over there this morning and I'm optimistic about a fun day ahead of us out of the house.

In a nutshell, I will concur with the positive reviews of the zoo. It has a whole section of kids rides and it's attractions are more centrally located than the San Francisco zoo. Not that I saw any of them.

The little educational 'class' that my daughter and I did was just limited to one area of the zoo. We saw bugs, alligators, turtles, snakes, rabbits and a couple other odds and ends. The big guns were all elsewhere in the zoo and not on our tour. Which is probably why about one and a half hours of the way through the 2 hour tour, my daughter used the "b" word.

"This is boring."

How I hate that word. It brings up so many issues. Am I underestimating her amusement level with these things? Is she not interested in animals anymore? How could I be off the mark here? Or is she bored because she's a boring person, as the saying goes? Am I a boring mom? Should we not be getting out of the house more? Is it worth it?

So I ruminate on all that crap while she suffers throughout the rest of the mini-tour, earns her badge, and then we are outta there. It's noon by this time and we are starving, so we meet up with my husband and two little ones and head to the cafe. Of course I'm in a not-so-great mood at this point because I'm hungry and I feel as if I wasted all of our time, according to my daughter's sourpuss face. I'm cruising downhill to the valley of self-pity.

My husband meanwhile was a trooper taking the little two on a tour of the rest of the entire zoo, getting a workout along the way carrying one or both of them around while saying hello to the monkeys and elephants.

After eating I'm feeling a bit better, despite the fact that my husband and I never really sat down to eat our lunch and instead took turns chasing our wandering son around in between his wailing battles to stay at our table.

So we head out to explore the rest of the zoo, which I hope is more to my oldests' liking. While we are gazing in amazement at the giraffes (which are very close up at this zoo), I am feeling much better. I'm thinking that we might just salvage this day after all. Probably had something to do with the fact that I love the gentle beauty and gigantic elegance of the giraffe. I'm definitely headed back up the hill to a peak of gratitude.

I try to rally the troops to go to the next animal, but no one is moving. It looks like my oldest is in awe at the giraffes as I have been, so I give it a minute or two more. Finally I get up close and personal with her and ask if she's ready to move on. And here it comes again.

Her: "I'm so bored."
Me: "Really? You don't like the zoo? The giraffes are so beautiful."
Her: "It's just that I'd rather be home. Or playing with my friends."

Oh Lordy. We are there. We have arrived at the I'd-rather-be-with-my-friends-than-with-my-family point. I had always thought that we'd be one of those families that would love doing stuff together...forever. Really I didn't see an end in sight. Maybe because I wasn't prepared to, and I'm still not ready for it today.

At that point I snap. "Okay then, let's go home."

And that's what we do. As I creep lower and lower back into that valley of self-pity, we march back to the parking lot, me lecturing my daughter the whole time about appreciating what's in front of her and not always wishing she were someplace else. A lesson that I seem to be constantly working on myself these days. We get to the car and pack it all up and go, screaming baby and all. It's like a bad movie at this point.

Gee, so glad we got out of the house for a great adventure.

On the ride home our son falls asleep right away since he's overdue for his nap. Toward the end my oldest falls asleep, just as our middle child is waking up from a brief nap and expresses her dire need for a drink.

Against my better judgement to just wait and give her the water bottle when we arrive home in 5 minutes, I try to throw it back to the 3rd row to her. The first try doesn't make it over the 2nd row, so I try a little harder the next time. And it lands SMACK in my oldests' peacefully sleeping face.

I have now officially arrived at the depths of the valley of self-pity. Please disembark here if you feel like an idiot that is underappreciated, overworked and insane.

My oldest starts bawling, wakes up the baby, who then joins her in a chorus of cries that fill the car. I literally use all of my willpower to stay in the car and stay quiet, while in my mind I tell my husband to stop the car and I get out and walk the rest of the way home.

Where does it go from here, you ask? Well I storm into the house and let everyone feel my mood. Not that they needed any help here. Then I grab my middle child and head out to her friend's birthday party. My husband asks if I want to stay home while he takes them all, and I say no, explaining that our four year old daughter is actually the only one in the house that knows how to have fun anymore, so I'd much rather stick with her.

True to form, my daughter and I have a great time at another Pump It Up party (will they ever end?). Since she's still shy in these circumstances, we just play the two of us through all the obstacle courses and the jumpy houses, friends joining in at times. She shoots hoops for about 30 minutes straight, reconfirming my notion that she will indeed be the jock in the house (at least until her little brother catches up). We slide, jump, tickle and laugh. And laugh some more.

And I'm back up on the peak of gratitude. We eat our pizza and cake, collect her party favor and head home.

Then what happens, you ask? Well everything is fine until my oldests' friend calls to ask her to come over for a sleepover. We already told her "no" last weekend, putting it off until this weekend. Then she came down with this cough/flu, so we said "no" last night, putting it off until tonight. And now my husband draws the line and says "no, not this weekend".

Tears ensue as she begs and pleads to get her way. If there's one thing I'm tired of these days its all the begging, pleading and whining in my days.

So I slide back down the slippery slope to bad moodland. But this time I decide to fight it. I gather all the patience I never knew I had in reserve, grab my oldest in a big embrace on the living room couch and talk with her about what's going on. While she's on my lap we have a sweet and sincere moment of gratitude, appreciating each other and reconnecting our emotional ties that were severed throughout the day.

Then my other two join in and all three of my kids are in my lap giving me more love than I can handle, and exactly what I needed. My husband then joins us and we play a round of catch with a beach ball and just sit in our living room enjoying each other, laughing and playing.

My husband and I then have a humorous "maybe we should stay home more" laugh.

I'm end the day back on the peak of gratitude.

I guess it's true what they say. All's well that ends well.