Goodbye Old Friend

This week our family had to say goodbye to our dog Enzo. And it was harder than I had ever imagined it would be. Not that you can really prepare yourself for something like this.

Just looking at this picture while I type is giving me a big lump in my throat and tears in my eyes.

We found out a few days ago that he had cancer in his spleen that had spread to his liver, and within 24 hours he had internal bleeding that was incurable. My husband and I were faced with a horrible decision, but a necessary one.

And an experience that I will never forget.

Over the many months that I have been writing this blog, I haven't mentioned him much. But that doesn't mean he wasn't a very present part of our family. In fact there were many times that he was driving me so nuts that I was composing blog entries about him in my head, and titling them "Did I mention we have a dog?". But I knew those blog posts would only have been me complaining about being a pet owner, and I didn't want to go down that road.

The fact is Enzo is the one that first made my husband and I a mom and dad. He was supposed to be my husband's dog as he and I weren't even living together or engaged at the time we got him. But falling in love with his little puppy face was unavoidable.

Over the past eleven years he grew from a hyper puppy to an over-active teenager, then entered adulthood with pride and watched over all the little ones that joined our family after him. Eventually we declared him a senior citizen, complete with gray hair and a bit of a grumpy attitude. In just over a decade he went from our little adorable baby to the patriarch of the family.

We always realized that Enzo was getting less and less attention over the years. We kept saying he was moving farther down the totem pole with each child we added to our growing brood. And we felt a little guilty about that. But I don't think he really noticed. He just had a lot more little hands to pet him and friends to come over and visit. That, and he had a new favorite place for the last seven years: under the high chair.

He was woven into the fabric of our family. Now I see that more than ever. Every time I walk into the house I expect him to be at the door excited to see us. And every time a bit of food drops I have to stop myself from calling him over to gobble it up. I take the kids outside and expect him to be there chasing bubbles or pooping in the neighbor's yard. When we play outside I have an internal alarm that goes off every 4 or 5 minutes to look for him and make sure he's still around our house and not visiting the many friends he has made in our neighborhood over the years.

He was a people lover through and through. He could win over even the most fearful children, giving them kisses on their food-smudged faces. It was because of Enzo that the little girl next door went from being frightened by dogs to being a dog-lover in a matter of a couple years. I fear her parents now have us to thank for her constantly asking to get a dog.

A friend of my husband's said "I don't even like dogs, but I really liked Enzo."

It was just in his nature to win you over, no matter how much you might have been afraid of or annoyed by him.

His so soft ears and big amber eyes.

The way he always thought everyone that came over to our house was here to see him.

His irritating bark at all living beings that walked by our front window.

The sound of him drinking about a billion bowls of water a day.

The way he walked in between your legs and parked himself there for safe keeping.

His love for catching flies or chasing flashing lights.

The way he came running to the kitchen whenever he heard the crinkle of a bag of deli meat.

All the love, energy and chaos that he added to our family.

We will miss it all dearly.

Goodbye old friend.