Ode to Me

Almost a half a year has flown by since I last posted to my blog.

Poor lonely blog.

Alas, yesterday was Mother's Day and I'd be remiss if I didn't post something about the momentous occassion, given the name of my blog and all.

I have to say that lately being a mom has been hard work. Well that's sort of a silly statement, eh? When isn't it hard work? But lately it seems like there's just not enough time in the day/week/month/year to really be the kind of mom I'd like to be.

I am now a working mom, so time is limited and moments with my kids are precious. I want to get the most out of each interaction with them because I know I'm getting fewer of them these days.

Perhaps that's why I don't want to wipe another butt.

Or remake another lunch because there was too much peanut butter on the sandwich.

Or dry another tear that was brought on by the word "no".

Or perhaps it's just because I'm so tired from spreading myself out like a giant trampoline so I can catch them every time they come back down from their lofty lives in the heart of childhood. Where whatever you need or wish for magically appears in front of you simply by saying the words "mommy, can I please please please?".

And when they do come back down into my safety, I propel them out there once again, putting a little wind behind them and knowing full well they will fall my way again. And that I'll catch them again, and push them back out there another time, in endless repetition.

At least for now it's endless. I do know the end is out there somewhere. It's just not visible right now.

And hence the feelings of endless unappreciated hard work which leads to a bit of exhaustion. We know we are doing this job for a reason, it's just that we aren't sure our kids know we are doing this job for a reason. Sometimes it feels like we are just here for their whimsy. Like they don't even notice all this constant support and love we are providing solely for their benefit.

And then sometimes something comes along that tells us they really do see us. That they have indeed been quietly watching us all along. Watching what we do out in the world and in our own homes.

Here's what my oldest daughter wrote in her Mother's Day poem at school. My first Mother's Day poem by the way.

If you know me at all you'll agree that she sees me. And if you don't know me, after reading this, you will.

Jessica

Great looking, nice, pretty, creative.

Taught me how to cook.

Helps me with my homework.

When I'm sad, she tells me to take a deep breath and helps me with my problems.

I am happy whenever she's with me.

Party planning, cooking, loving, volunteering.

Mom

Happy Mother's Day to me.

And to all those woman out there that mother anyone or anything with selfless love and endless effort.