That Kid

I’ve come to realize that my son is that kid.

You know the one. The kind that doesn’t listen to their mothers. That don’t take “no” for an answer. Or like to eat paste and stick things up their noses. Or the ones that like to run into the street with no sense of common fear. Or scream for everything they want.

Yes, I think we all know them well. Whether they are yours (let’s pray together), or the ones you see in the grocery store, or at school, or even at your friend’s house.

Now I get to see one up close and personal. Every day. Because he lives in my house. And he likes to think he’s my son, although I’m not seeing a lot of genetically driven personality similarities.

My girls always had a healthy sense of fear when it came to times where it was appropriate. And they never tried to eat non-edible substances, other than the usual toys and random objects. And they certainly always seemed to know who was in charge around here.

Not so much with my son. In his world he lives large and in charge.

I do everything I can think of so as not to encourage unwanted behaviors. And I have a lot of ideas since I’ve been thinking them for so many years as I watch other parents struggle with those kids.

The lesson here is do not scoff at others lest ye be done reproducing be scoffed at. My most humble apologies go out to all those mothers and fathers that have been in this seat and at whom I have scoffed, smugly thinking all along “my girls don’t do that”.

Now I see the other side. And it’s not pretty.

No matter how many times I tell him “NO!” when he goes running for the street, he still goes full force. So much so that he usually falls down in the street on all fours before I can catch him. He’ll do it over and over again. It wears me out. So I just end up putting him in the back yard, which is closed in. Avoidance is all I have the energy for at this point.

He also fights the changing table. I try to be patient and have fun with him so he’ll lie down and give in. But sometimes I just don’t have it in me, so he gets the left elbow pin-down and I just work as fast as I can, which can be quite tricky when dealing with dirty diapers. Thank goodness I have extra changing pad covers.

He’s become quite physical with other kids his age too. He likes to bear hug kids and tumble over with them, lying on top of them for a good snuggle. But the other kids don’t seem to think of it in those terms for some reason.

Then there’s the oral fixations. He loves to grab the body wash or shampoo containers from the bath tub and suck on the tops of them. If they aren’t open he’ll use his teeth to open them first, then start sucking out the soap or shampoo. Same thing goes for any toothpaste that he can get his hands on. Yummy in his tummy.

He also enjoys the fine delicacy of moisturizing cream. It’s an open container, not the kinds that squirts out, so he usually tries to plunge his whole hand in while I have the top off. His persistence always pays off and he’ll get a bunch on his fingers, which he then proceeds to lick off. And occasionally spit out. I’m teaching him to rub it on his arms and legs, which is working, but he usually likes to taste-test it first.

And there is also this thing he has for string and hair. For some reason he loves to put little strings in his mouth. You know the kind that you’ll find on the floor that fell off some garment you were wearing? Those are the ones he likes best; nice and little so they fit right in. Or any type of confetti or tinsel will do as well. I had no idea how much of that crap we have around the house, and apparently he knows where it all is. He doesn’t ingest any of these things. It’s just his attempt at some rare form of unpatented chewing gum. He chomps away on them and eventually spits them out or gives them to me, all covered in slobber.

Lately he’s showing a preference for hair. Yes, hair. Human hair. The type that he pulls off his sister’s head by the handful, just so he can try to put some in his mouth.

Enough said.

But there is hope. He’s getting much better in other areas.

As I’ve mentioned before he has been quite a screamer. But now, in the mornings, he just babbles to himself in his crib until we come in to get him. Of course we don’t let it go for more than 10 or 15 minutes just in case it escalates. No sense in rocking the boat now that we’ve finally got it docked.

And he’s much better at breakfast time too. He’ll more readily eat in his chair or go play when he’s done. Almost no screaming involved whatsoever.

He now has more words, which he will use most of the time, even if at an elevated noise level or pitch.

Plus he still has his whole snuggly thing working in his favor as well.

Luckily for us all, his constant giveaway of hugs and kisses and his increasingly amazing intellect shed light on the boy living on the other side of the tunnel.

Which is a good thing. We need a little light around here.

Because sometimes this tunnel feels reeeeeaaaaalllly long.