High Five

We are on a birthday roll in the house and today is our younger daughter's birthday.

She turns five.

And I think my husband and I are breathing a sigh of relief.

She's the passionate one in the family, and she saves it all just for us. She's quiet out in the world, but when she comes home she lets it all out. And her quietness combined with her passion can make for a girl that likes to express herself with noise and motion, as opposed to words. If I only had a dollar for every time we've told her to "use your words". We'd be living on a beach somewhere and she'd be able to karate chop as many coconuts as her heart desires.

I'm really hoping that this past year as a four year old was the climax of a lot of her behaviors. I do see her settling down a bit as she heads into the next year. Turning five is actually a pretty big deal. She's no longer a toddler, and she becomes "school age". We've really seen some wonderful changes in her lately.

She's SO much easier to drop off at school now. No clinging or crying. Although there isn't quite a verbal "good-bye" yet either. But again, she's living up to her reputation as the quiet one. She'd rather just silently walk away into the rest of her day, which she's excited about in some ways, and nervous about in others. Hence her silence.

Her teacher has said how much she adores her because she is sweet, she listens and follows directions, and she's nice to everyone.

She's taken quite an interest in playing with her friends from school and is always asking me when she can have more play dates. As much as I try to make it happen, it's hard to juggle and she's proving yet again that she can be very patient.

Although, even with all the desire to play with friends, recently she told me that she wants to be left alone more often. She says she needs to be by herself sometimes.

I know exactly how she feels.

In fact, I know how she feels in many ways. She's our child in which I see the most of myself. It's in her looks for sure. One day the UPS guy came to our door and she and I answered it. As I was signing for the package he looked at her and said "you have beautiful eyes." Then I finished signing and looked up at him and he surprisingly said "oh, you have them too!"

But it's more than just eye deep. It's that feeling that you are watching a bit of yourself walk around on the earth. I don't think I can define it exactly. It's just something in her spirit that connects with me.

And it could be that she hates skirts and dresses and loves to play sports and run around with the boys. Because I did that very same thing until I was in about 6th grade. Then I still didn't wear skirts and dresses, but I did start dancing with the boys instead of running around with them. I have a feeling she'll be a bit of a late bloomer much like myself.

It's funny how each of your children can be your kids, and yet you can see them in such different lights. You connect with them in such different ways. And I'm glad she has this connection. Because my first is my first. There's no other child that can compare to that. She's the first one to take me through so many experiences as a mother. And my last child is my last. My little one that I want to stay little, and that I'll cuddle with longer than either of the other two, simply because I know it's the last of my cuddling. And he's my boy.

So I'm very thankful for this connection with my younger daughter. She's the middle child that I hope will never feel lost in the middle. She's my girl that I will always keep an eye out for, and that I will always have a sense of what she might be feeling. But I'll never assume I know it all, because she surprises me all the time.

In the spirit of giving her her own light to shine in, here are my wishes for my brand new five-year-old.

May you always love to make funny faces and sing silly songs.

May you always be able to entertain yourself for an hour with construction paper, scissors, and a roll of scotch tape.

May you always love the attention from your siblings and yet cherish your time alone.

May you always be so careful in choosing your friends, and may you be open to making new ones whenever you need someone with which to share a snack or a play date.

May you never forget that passion is what makes for an exciting life, no matter how it is expressed, so long as it's peaceful.

May you forever know exactly what you want in life, and may you find the means of attaining it while still being nice to everyone.

Happy Birthday sweet pea.

Eight is Great

Today my oldest daughter turns 8 years old. Which amazes and underwhelms me at the same time. It amazes me that it has already been eight years since she was born, when it seems like such a short time ago that she was my one and only child that I would rock to sleep at nap time and sing to sleep at bed time. It also underwhelms me a bit since so much of the time she seems like she's already 12 years old. Eight is definitely not a big enough number for her personality.

This past year has been one of new experiences for her. She played some new sports, made some new friends, and acquired her own bedroom.

While she enjoyed softball, especially since her dad was the coach, she wasn't as keen on soccer this Fall. Which I think I could have predicted. She doesn't have the drive inside her to run like her younger siblings. She's a mover, don't get me wrong. But she's more into short and fast. I don't see any long distance running in her future. Personally, I can't blame her as I have the same tastes. So as you could guess, her favorite position to play in soccer was goalie. Which is just as important as the running positions. After all, I was a goalie too. For pretty much the same reasons. Perhaps she gets more of her physical make up from me than I thought.

This summer we moved the bedroom assignments around and gave her her own bedroom. We just felt like she really could use the space and the sense of ownership. She's grown into it with a flourish, especially since we just finished the last touches over the past week or two. She has already moved into the tween years, complete with posters on the wall and her constant desire to bring a purse with her everywhere we go, filled with all the little girl essentials, like a ponytail holder and comb, some cash, lip gloss and a mirror, and usually a fake cell phone.

Over the past year her loving spirit seems to have grown a well. She's like a little mommy to her brother, constantly helping him move through his ever-changing life. She's slowly shifting into the role of mentor to her sister. And she's becoming more of a helper around the house, someone I can count on for an extra pair of hands when I'm in need. Her desire to help take care of others and make sure everyone is included makes me proud.

When we talked about what she wanted to bring to school to celebrate her birthday, she said it had to be something "dairy-free, meat-free and nut-free so everyone can have one". This sort of amazed me since she really could have picked anything she wanted. So we came up with jello jigglers. Then yesterday she came home disheartened because she said that one boy in the class couldn't eat gelatin since he was a vegan. [I'll have to do some research on that one.] She then asked if she could bring him a cupcake. I told her that was very sweet, but that we'd have to be fair and just bring the one thing, and that I was sure he'd understand.

I think that I am finally seeing all the years of hard work starting to pay off. It's not that we didn't see all of these wonderful behaviors before, because we did. But now they are her lifestyle and personality, and not just what she does when we are right on top of her.

Her sense of generosity and caring. Her responsible and loving nature. They are all hers now. She acts on them because she chooses to, not because we are telling her to do so. Because these things are some of the many wonderful traits that make up her incredibly beautiful and unique personality.

And that's why I say Eight is Great.

Here's my birthday wish for you this year my love.

May you always socialize with confidence, making new friends with ease while still cherishing those who have remained loyal.

May you always love and appreciate your younger siblings, never take them for granted, and know that they will forever look up to you as you make your path in life.

May you always have so much energy and life that you brighten any room you enter.

And may you forever know that I am proud of every hit, cheering you on for every catch, excited for every new endeavor, and here for you if ever you should fall.

Happy 8th birthday big girl. I love you.

Half Full

Anyone who knows me knows that I always try to be a glass-is-half-full kind of girl. If there's a bright side, I'll find it. And I'll hold on to it as long as possible. It's all about being thankful for what you have. Especially on a day like today, the Thanksgiving holiday.

Like, for example, if it's been 2 weeks since my last post, I'll just tell you that it's because I've been saving up something really good. And that life had been busy with all kinds of great distractions. It's not necessarily because I can't seem to find a half hour to sit at the computer and just idly write away to my heart's content.

It's all about staying optimistic. Noticing how green your own grass is so you stop checking out the nieghbors' yards.

Although yesterday I was certain that the glass was half empty. In fact it was entirely empty if you had asked me. It all started with my husband having what we thought was a bout of food poisoning late Tuesday night. But then yesterday afternoon both my daughters started having upset stomachs.

So I was thankful that on the way home from the movies I didn't stop at a store as I had planned, and I came straight home. Because the second after we walked in the door my oldest ran to the bathroom and lost her popcorn. After I wiped down every surface with Clorox (to hell with the all natural cleaners when there's a stomach bug in the house), I was hoping that would be the end of it.

Then, a couple of short moaning and groaning hours later, my younger daughter lost her popcorn too. All over our bed. Yes, that's our bed, not hers. Pillows, comforter, and all. After that it was hard to be thankful. And even harder to use clorox to clean.

Of course during this time my son had a pee-pee accident, which really seemed more like cleaning up a glass of water after all of those other bodily fluids that I'd been up against. Did I mention that he's now potty trained? We've taken advantage of the strong interest he was showing and over the last couple of weeks we've been putting him in his "big boy undies" more and more. Usually it was just a couple of hours, because that's as long as we were ever home to work on it. Then it was official this week when Monday morning he went off to school in underwear. Only one accident that morning, and the occasional one here and there since. Of course he timed one of them to be in the middle of all the barfing. Way to go, son. In this case, I was thankful I still had the Clorox wipes handy.

But all the wiping and laundry loads didn't end there. Shortly after putting her to bed, my youngest daughter was sick again in her bed. Off went more sheets and pillows to the laundry room.

By this time I was convinced that I was going to be praying to the porcelain god come morning time. I had lost all optimism and had become convinced that Thanksgiving dinner wasn't going to happen. And what's worse, I was convinced that my son would get it too. Which would mean a lot more laundry and carpet cleaning, since he would never be able to control when and where it happened.

We woke up this morning and my husband and I said "let's wait until everyone gets up" before we decide if we were making the turkey that sat waiting a better fate in the refrigerator. But low and behold, everyone got up and everyone was fine. Including me. And our son.

I started making the apple pie and that glass was half full once again. Right then and there I put on a happy face and was thankful.

Thankful that the flu bug was short-lived and the vomiting was kept to a minimum.

Thankful that I escaped it's evil grasp.

Thankful that my kids are healthy enough, on any given day, to be running around our house, making noise, spouting their opinions, and leaving plentiful messes behind. Even if two out of the three didn't eat a bite of the dinner that took me all day to make.

Thankful that we didn't have more company coming over for dinner, and it was just an intimate gathering.

Thankful that my belly, and those of my family, is full. Even if some of them are full of chicken nuggets instead of roast turkey and homemade gravy.

And thankful that my glass - of wine - was always half full tonight.

Girl of 100 Lists

Do you remember that Go-Go's song, "Girl of 100 Lists"? Lately I hear that song in my head quite frequently. It pops into my mind whenever I come across one of my oldest daughter's lists.

She's really into making lists right now.

Considering that I have a shopping list on the fridge, a to-do list on the kitchen counter, not to mention post-its multiplying by the dozens on my desk, I'm not too surprised this trait has popped up recently.

One of the first ones I noticed a few months back was a list she made for her sleepover at her grandmother's house. She numbered everything and even put checkboxes on the list so she knew when the item was packed. It was full of all kinds of essentials like "P.J.'s, underwear, clothes for tommorow, tooth brush, tooth paste, a pair of socks, head band, a book, a pair of flip flops, floser, pic of mom". That last one is one of my favorites. She's taken to keeping me with her at all times by having a photo of me in her backpack that she takes to school, and now I've even made the list for sleepovers. That one makes my heart smile.

On this list she even took it a step farther and had a section for the details of all of those items, so she knew exactly which pajamas and tooth brush and book were coming with her.

Then a few weeks later, she wrote a "To Do List". Apparently one day she felt like she had a lot going on and she needed to keep it straight. Fortunately for her, her To Do list looks much different than mine. In hers, it's all about what she's actually doing that day. I guess that'd be more of a schedule, but she's still fine-tuning her list skills. This one had the following items listed on it:

1. Piano lessons from 4:00-4:30.

2. Do my homwork around 2:55.

3. Jump on the tramp from 3:15-3:40.

4. Bring Bunny for sharing.

5. Friend's mom to pick me up from school.

6. Wear sparkly peace shirt.

Her day was very organized and orderly, even if the actual list was out of order.

She's also been making lists of all the birthday parties she's invited to, so she can keep track of all the good times headed her way.

Then there is the "favorite songs" list, which has gotten quite long lately.

And of course she's been making a list of who she will be inviting to her upcoming birthday party.

One of my favorites was her shopping list that she wrote out for me last week, on my actual list that was on the fridge. It went a little something like this.

Tootsi rolls

Gummi bears

Jelli bellis

Fruit by the foot

Pears

Bananas

Donuts

She wrote it out and then came over and told me she put down 2 healthy things for me to buy at the store. After my "good job!", she gave me a sly smile and said she might have put some other things on there too.

She also left my husband a note on his pillow around that same time. It said "Buy Milke way Mid-night Carmel Fudge". That's it. No please. No title.

I guess that one was really more of a command. But a cute one. And one motivated by her recent Halloween loot I imagine.

Can't you just hear that song going over and over in my head as I collect these lists that she leaves lying around the house?

"I am the girl of 100 lists
From what shall I wear
To who I have kissed
Check items off
Let nothing be missed
Sing I to myself and my 100 lists"

But there better not be any kisses on her lists.

Or we'll be coming up with a whole other list of things to be talking about.