Teen Time

The other day my oldest officially turned into a teenager. And even though we've been calling her a teenager for quite a few months now, somehow the actuality of that day was still very momentous.

I just can't believe we are already entering this chapter of parenting. It's so cliche, but it really does seem like just a short while ago that she was a toddler running around the house in princess shoes and my biggest worry was getting her to eat all of her chicken nuggets before she was off and running again.

These past few months have been quite a ride getting used to having a teenager in the family. She's always been an amazingly responsible person so we had little reason to worry. To some extent this is still the case. Now she's grown into a beautiful young lady, and with all the recent growth has come a strong sense of what she wants and who she is. At least what she wants and who she is today. And to a teenager, all there really ever is is today.

That's the hardest part. Knowing, and constantly reminding her, that she's not done growing up yet, even though she thinks that she is. Today she's way smarter than she ever has been in her life, but she's still got a ways to go.

Just don't tell her that.

Lately we've had to "get real" about who her friends are and where they go in their free time. Especially when she makes new friends, which it seems like she's doing every single day. The simple act of making new friends is taking on a whole new dimension.

We've also recently had to respond to requests from the school about not respecting the dress code. This I fear may never end with this child. She has always had more fashion sense than I could fathom a child her age could have. And she truly walks the line in this area.

Point in case: our recent visit to a college campus had us seeing the image of our daughter everywhere we looked, just a few inches taller and more make up on their faces. Honestly that was about the only visible difference.

What a reality check.

And I think she sees this too. She looks in the mirror and sees an almost fully grown person. On the outside that is. But what she forgets is that she's still very young, especially on the inside, compared to where she's headed down the road.

On the inside she still a little girl that needs to be nurtured, encouraged, guided, and also disciplined. Teenagers seem not to realize the simple fact that we still need to parent them. In fact recently she accused me (via text) of "supervising" her too much. HA. That's a good one.

She's just going to have to get used the new routine. What we teach her now is more important than she will realize for at least another 20 years. Discovering your mistakes and learning from them is a weekly if not daily routine as a teenager.

So now here we are trying to absorb all this into our parenting style. And it is hard to swallow.

Especially when conversations often end with "are we done?" and a march back to her room with a firm door closing.

Sigh.

I want my baby girl back.

I want to only worry about weather she eats her breakfast or drops it on the floor, or whether or not she takes her nap.

Those worries I can handle.

But, like I told her when I held her tight and gave her a big birthday hug, she's still my baby girl. She'll always be my little girl, no matter what.

So here are my birthday wishes for my new teenager.

• May you always be able to effortlessly make new friends.
• May you never forget that your "old" friends are the ones that know you best, expect the least, and will put up with the worst.
• May you always walk the line in life between being adventurous and being safe, but all the while respect the rules, even if you don't agree with them.
• May you always be open to encouragement and guidance.
• May you realize that making mistakes are an important part of life, as long as you continue to learn from them.

I love you baby girl.

Nine and change

This ode to my newly minted 9 year old is a slight bit overdue, considering her birthday was three weeks ago. But also considering that I didn't get any of these written last year, I'm doing pretty good for this year.

Turning nine this year proves that my middle child is quietly sneaking up on us. It's hard to be sandwiched in the middle, living in the shadow of an older sister and in the after-math of a whirlwind of a little brother. Given that so much parental attention needs to follow the oldest as we all explore unchartered territory (middle school...need I say more?) and also follows the youngest as we continue to work on discipline and respect (and responsibility...and following directions...and using words instead of actions...and...).

Luckily for our middle child, she is very different from her brother and sister, who are very alike to each other. Our younger daughter stands in her own light, which she casts into that shadow of her older sibling. And she has unbelievably strong roots so as not to get blown away in that whirlwind from her brother.

With what I like to call an "old soul", our daughter has the ability to connect with us in ways that her siblings do not. It's in the look in her beautiful blue-green eyes, it's in the curve of her smile, it's in her recognition and connection with us about the craziness that goes on around us all in a family of five.

She just "gets it"; she understands that we all have to wait our turn for certain things. And better yet she knows that making other people happy is sometimes as good as - or better - than making ourselves happy. This is something that a lot of kids don't learn until they are out of college...or ever.

And just when I'm worried about her not being silly enough and embracing her childhood, she'll take her silly putty and shape it into mustache and place it on her face, waiting to surprise the next person that looks at her.

Though she can still very often be reserved in her behaviors (much like her painfully shy days of preschool), she quietly moves forward in life. Without us even realizing it, she will master a new skill like skateboarding, or she will run for class representative in her 3rd grade class - and get elected.

In fact, she forgot to tell us about her classroom election for 3 days.  In one single day she decided to run, wrote and delivered a sensible - and a little bit silly - speech, and then won the election in her classroom. And then she just sort of let life go on as normal, remembering to tell us about it all several days later.

So here's to you my newly minted nine year old - my birthday wishes for the next year.

• May you always shine your own light and glow in the knowledge that you are special and unique and deserving of every bit of attention that flows your way.

• May you always have strong roots and and continue to build a foundation of love, respect and patience, both from others, and from and within yourself.

• May you never loose sight of the value of a little silly behavior, keeping you young at heart.

• May your quiet strength and confidence continue to grow and flourish through the years.

I love you sweet pea.

An Even Dozen

Somehow the clock ticked right by number 11 and struck midnight.

I have been sadly absent from this blog for a while, but I'm determined to pick it back up and let it carry some memories through time so that I will remember life's little - and big - moments far into the future.

Last year my oldest daughter turned 11 and this blog was left waiting. Now she turns an even dozen years old, and I'm compelled to capture it in writing once again. So much has happened, and yet so much remains the same.

She's still singing her way through her days, only now it seems to be with more volume and gusto. Or maybe it just feels that way sometimes.

She's still a very responsible and caring young lady. She helps around the house (now being the official owner of chores), she tends to her younger siblings much to their delight, and she is always on time, ready to go before just about anyone else in the house.

And yet other things have changed. While she's always enjoyed venturing out into the world and discovering friends and fun moments in life, now she seems to be spending more time "out there" than inside the house. Her school days are long, and her weekends are spent hanging out with friends as much as she can possibly squeeze into her - and our - schedule.

She's in middle school now, and she's walking the line between the safe comfort of her family and home, and the excitement of a new social world that includes BFFs, fashion fascinations, instagram, and school dances. But she still knows that no matter how much fun she has "out there", there's always her family waiting anxiously to welcome her return to our home.

Another new thing this year has been the addition of a cell phone into her life. Much to her father's chagrin, her face is often glowing with that familiar blue haze from her iPhone, and her eye contact has been much more limited. Her laughs and chatter are still there, but often they are directed at no one in particular as she reads something silly, or we find out she's not actually talking to us but instead to a friend on the other end of her phone. We often get "shushed" in the name of cinematography as she captures her own life through videos that she authors and edits with surprising savvy.

Even with that difficult task of balancing this whole process, she handles it all beautifully. She respects our rules and embraces our good old fashioned fun. She shares her knowledge of all things virtual, and never hides or lies about anything (as far as I know!). There is no eye-rolling or heavy sighs; if she's upset about something she walks away and takes time to herself, or openly talks (and cries) about it with me. And through our talks she quietly learns from my soft lectures and shared life lessons, often surprising me when she recites back the things I try to teach her as she finds her way down the path of life.

To put it simply, we couldn't be more proud of how gracefully our oldest child is aging.

 So here's to you, my sweet child, as you celebrate an even dozen.

• May you always embrace the sweet music of life, harmonizing with it's melodies and raising the volume when the passion strikes you.
• May you always take life seriously enough to be responsible and on time, but never so much that you no longer laugh at the silly moments with those near and dear to you.
• May you always listen quietly, talk openly, and learn swiftly.

Next stop...teenager.

Five and a Day

Yesterday my son turned five years old. All day I kept trying to remember to write my 'ode' to him, but all day I got distracted with party planning. Both my work parties and his upcoming party. So while his birthday was very much on my mind yesterday, this blog was not.

Alas, the clock ticks by and now he's five. And a day.

I'm not sure what to make of it all really. It seems like just yesterday that he was a baby. But then again, I can hardly remember him being a baby at all. I have to conjur up images from photographs sometimes just to get the memories flowing.

The last five years have been a blur of growth spurts (when oh when will I stop needing to by new clothes and shoes every 3 months!?!), skinned knees, cups of chocolate milk, light sabers, torn up pants, baseballs, smiles, swords, worn down shoes, legos, laughs, more chocolate milk, some tantrums, more weapons of any kind, and of course some tears too.

Now I think I realize why I do so much clothes and shoe shopping for him. He's ruthless on his rags and the holes are endless.

Our son is such a whirl of constant activity that at times I wonder how he doesn't get dizzy. Or tired. At all.  He really just has "on" and "off". And when he's "on", there's no stopping him.  When he's "off" there's no waking him.

He has brought such a new dynamic to our family over the years. He has formed a special relationship with each of his sisters. Each one unique in it's own right. But still he's a little brother through and through. He fools us into thinking that he's much older than he is, since he keeps up with all kinds of conversations and happenings throughout our family.

But then he'll cry because he doesn't understand that his birthday party is actually two days later than his real birthday. And cry again after school because his friends didn't bring him presents, even though we've explained that the party is not for another two days.

And that's when we remember that he's only five, and he should be treated as such.

He still deserves to get all the cuddles he can stand (which is a lot, believe me), a kiss on every skinned knee, and a sweet lullaby every night. Even if the lullaby requested is Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer. Which it often is.

After all, he's just five years old. And as much as he seems older, and as much as he may try to keep up with his older sisters doing everything they do, but better, we need to remember that he deserves an energetic, carefree, creative and loving childhood.

So here's my birthday wishes to you, my last baby.

• May you always move in the direction you want and never let anything stop you.
• May you always get the well-deserved sweet rest that you need so that you can keep forging ahead in life.
• May you always appreciate the love and attention of your older sisters and know that you are special to all of us in the family, each in a unique way.
• May you always seem wise beyond your years.
• May we all never forget to let you simply enjoy your childhood, embracing every laugh, every tear and every new step.

I love you sweet little man.